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I sometimes think God should have ignored Noah’s prayers.

When He wanted to wash the world of humanity’s evil and self-serving ways, He should have done so. How many good people are there in this world worth saving? A hundred? Ten? One?

I can picture this conversation Jesus had before his crucifixion: “You want me to suffer unimaginable pain and agony for these nimrods? Are you effing KIDDING me?”

And God might have replied. “I know, son, this just sucks rocks. But there ARE good people worth dying for.”

Jesus might shrug. “Well, I’ll take your word on that, Dad. Tell Mom I said hi, and save supper for me.”

I have to ask if we humans ARE worth Christ’s sacrifice. Perhaps we should have drowned and the simple beasts who only kill to survive might endure. When you read about school shootings, terrorist acts of violence, a mother abandoning her daughter on a beach – you gotta wonder. I heard the story the other day of a young man who killed himself. That’s not new – my own brother killed himself more than six years ago, and I have only one reason: God let him do it because he hurt too much.

Yet, this young man had much to live for. My brother ached in body and spirit, and I know he’s sharing a beer and a smoke with Christ right now. However, John, as I’ll call him, had two young sons to live for. He wanted nothing but to be with them, love them, teach them, laugh and hunt and fish and swim and do all the things fathers did with sons. The mother of his children, the selfish, self-serving bitch that she is, denied him his children. Jesus died for the likes of HER? Are you effing KIDDING me?

What selfish greed took the sons from the father, demanded more child support than he could give, and turned her back when he reached out for help. John wanted help, he contacted people – the mother of his kids, his current girlfriend. They ignored him – “He won’t do it, he’s acting out.”

My brother took his own life without reaching out to anyone. Had he tried, I know several who would have dropped everything and run to him, me included. John tried. Those who would – could – have stopped him were hindered by miscommunications. Those he did contact turned their backs. No wonder John chose to end his pain. He had nothing to live for.

Now that’s the saddest statement of all.

Because he had EVERYTHING to live for.

And the selfish, self-serving bitch? She’s got all the cards in her chubby fist. Two grand a month from the state, and if the grandparents mourning for their lost son want to see their son’s children, they are forced to play her games. I said that what goes around comes around, and I hope and pray those aren’t empty words. I can only hope that karma asserts itself and people pay dearly for the wrong they do in this life. That one day, not only do they pay for their sins, they KNOW they are paying for them.

I myself have paid for the dishonorable things I’ve done. I’ve felt the bad karma drop on my head like fifty pound bag of filth. I often ask God why he doesn’t do the same for the people around me committing what surely are offenses in His sight. He doesn’t answer me. So I ask Him – Why do I have to pay and they don’t?

Because you know better.

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